Some may relate, others may not, some may say this is personal. And it's all of that.

A glimpse of my thoughts from the past.

You go a long time not thinking of what it would feel like being touched by the man that loves you. You're busy. The day to day needs just can't seem to be met, so it's added to the list for the next day. You look back to yesterday and think, "what did I do?" I can't even remember. Nothing stands out. If it were important to the overall picture, you would have remembered. It's like you are running. Running through the days. Funny how the last two weeks of school seem to take forever. But when he's gone, a month and a half are a blink of an eye. All the days run together. If you've done this before, then the routine and boredom sets in quick. By the middle of this separation someone says to you, "Oh! But you are halfway there, champ!" Thanks for reminding me that how long it's taken me to get HERE, I now have that much time left til I kiss the man I love, until death do us part. That month before and after the halfway point, to me, is the hardest. I literally scream in my head as if that will teleport me months into the future. Because you have been "running" through the days, your feelings are on the back burner. That is until pure selfish and blindingly stupid people say or do things that light the burner into full flames of rage. You are sensitive, even if it doesn't show. During complete stressful times with everyday stuff, all you want is for someone to take notice and take over. Let someone else "put the foot down." That would mean more then cookin a meal or grabbing coffee. Although those are great too. After all, you have been the one doing EVERYTHING lately...well, seems like eternity really. No where in your mind would you trade it for anything. There is no replacement for what that man means to you. Therefore, his "job" is him. And he is yours, forever and eternity.

My smile is bigger today, then yesterday. The dream of you home is more of a reality today, then yesterday. I love you more today, then yesterday.
~Courtney Coles

Lights, camera, let me see the action!

"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."

New York City. Lights, camera, and all the action. Busy people, shiny buildings, shopping, and food. I feel like I've seen it my whole life. But yet I've never stepped foot on it's soil. Movies and TV have done so much of the work, but I feel like I really want to go. To see it's magnitude and beauty in person would be amazing. You can't just go for a few days. That doesn't cover it. If I went, I would go for a week atleast. And a wad of cash (safetly tucked away in my bank account). So much to see, touch, and eat there in good ol' NYC. It would be hard to not look like a tourist. I think the camera in hand constantly taking pictures would give me away. I would definitely buy the corny tourist shirt just to have.

The food of NYC is a must eat. The iconic brooklyn style pizza. yummm.

A nice southwestern dinner at Mesa Grill, by Bobby Flay.

Maybe some desert afterwards. Dylan's Candy Shop. I have a sweet tooth, need to calm the craving.

I would love to see a Broadway Show.

What an iconic picture.

So much life has happened there. To walk where the famous, present and past, have walked. It would be something to remember for the rest of my life. There's plenty I don't know about NYC. I think I would take a trip to the History Museum. Someday I'll get to go...

Moments that make you laugh..

I love to laugh. I laugh at a lot of things. I have this terrible problem of laughing at someone when they get hurt. Well not always, I exclude extreme accidents from that list. I have a list of favorites that will always make me bust into a million giggles and gasping for breath! Some may just be a "you had to be there" kind of funny, but others will make you laugh too.

High school was funny. I had a couple of really goofy, uncoordinated friends. Just crazy stuff always happened to them! One of my good girlfriends she was coordinated,but it was a laugh factory together. These were the funniest. I had stayed the night one night in the summer at her mom and dads house. It was almost 11 pm and we were headed in the house. There were absolutely NO LIGHTS on outside. The house was kind of out from town, so they had a nice big front yard. We had to walk through that in the dark. Now back in the late 90's there were these shoes for girls called "moon shoes" or something like that. They were made of I don't know hard foam? The sole was about 3-4 inches thick from toe to heel with two wide straps across the top of the foot. My friend was wearing them on our lucky night tonight. We were all ready laughing about something. I can't even remember what. She was through the gate first, we're laughing and talking, and about four feet into the yard she went from standing to laying flat on the ground face down in 2 seconds flat! Her moon shoe hit a crater hee hee... Every joint from her feet to her head went down in order hitting the ground..For me, standing behind her, it was like watching a movie on the big screen. With front row seats. We were laughing so hard we were snorting like piggies, gasping for air. Her body was convulsing on the ground from silent laughing and snorting, and I was blind from the tears falling down my face! I can't believe we even made it to the door. We couldn't even repeat the story for days, because we'd be on the ground laughing. All we could say was "you just had to be there!"

This other time together was pretty funny too. We went to visit another friend. I drove my moms ford taurus. When we pulled up to the friend's apartment the window was open with her head sticking out. We rolled the windows down when we parked, and were yelling up to her. Well after a few minutes we said we were coming up. At this time, my friend had really long hair, like halfway down her back long by the way. I then proceeded to roll up the windows, without looking at my friend, and rolled her hair up in the window! We were (again) laughing and snorting so hard that neither one of us could roll down the window! We were paralyzed by laughter...I'd like to point out that her hair was not harmed in the process ;)

In dance class, there was always something funny happening. I mean, you are learning to do all sorts of turns, leaps, steps and sometimes gravity just isn't on your side. We've all fallen on our you know what's. But this one takes the cake. We'd stretch then do our combinations. Ms. Dana had us doing double turns, pique's, and all sorts of leaps across the floor every single day. This day we were doing a lot of making fun of, and talking during floor work. My friend was busy chatting and showing off during her leaps across the floor that she didn't realize how close she was to the other side. She leaped into the wall. How you ask? One foot slammed in between the double bars on the wall and she fell to her derriere!!! Even Ms. Dana was laughing (which was hard to do) while trying to ask her if she was OK...Good times.

I'm sorry, what did you say?

When our lives begin, we are learning something new everyday. Just because you haven't uttered a single word yet, does not mean you don't understand. It's always been funny to me when they do start to speak. Syllables just don't sound the same coming out of the munchkins little mouth. We started with the ABC's and 123's. Practicing sounds each alphabet letter makes. Not too hard, but not too easy to learn and remember. Once they have around 300-400 words learned, it just gets too funny. Many times the word is almost right when spoken. Maybe an extra letter or two in there, or missed some. Taylor had a habit of mixing words. She knows what an astronaut is, and what olive garden is. Put them together and she called a food place, "restaurnaut." Still to this day she will slip and say it. But she corrects herself now. Another funny one is cum-cue-mer= cucumber.

There was one that drove me mad. It took her a year or so to say it right. I heard Y's and L's might get mixed up. So the word was Yellow. She said "Lillow." Here's how it would go down:

MOMMY: Say yellow Taylor.

TAYLOR: Lillow.

MOMMY: Try again. YYEELLLOW.

TAYLOR: LLILLLOW

MOMMY: OK. Yell. O

TAYLOR: Yell. O.

MOMMY: Very good Tay Tay, say it a little faster now. Yellow.

TAYLOR: Yell. O. Lillow. LILLOW I said it!

MOMMY: *sigh* Yep great job. We'll try again tomorrow.

You spend so much time with your children that you totally understand "their" English. But sometimes I find myself wondering, "What language are you speaking??"

TAYLOR: B's a later gator

VISITOR (FAMILY): Huh? I heard gator, is she calling me a gator? I don't get it...

ME: No. It's: see you later gator.

Lauren speaks more words then Taylor did at this age. I'd say she's 6-12 months ahead of her. Pretty much complete sentences around 7-10 words. Understands, "have this first, then you can have a bite of that." She also has a knack for making up words more then Taylor did. Jasmine, our dog, has now inherited many nicknames. One of the popular ones is "Ya Ya." Lauren gave her that one. Her new one of the week is just, well it's foreign. She picks up a coin and says, "look mom I find a toints." Toints? Like points with a T? I marvel at her amount of knowledge, then I get one of those in the mix. I love the uncertainty of what will she say next. All I said to her was,

OK...

Who's that lady with her shorts inside out?!

Exhaustion ex·haus·tion n.

1.The inability to respond to stimuli; extreme fatigue.

2.The act or an instance of using up a supply of something.

3. Completely zoned out while the children run amok.

4. I have children?? I didn't even remember...

Here's a true story. It was a busy day at the Coles's residence one Tuesday afternoon. The year was 2008. That was the year that CJ was gone to Iraq. During deployments I spent a lot of time with my best friends Sarah and JT. I usually was pretty exhausted. I was breastfeeding Lauren still, and Taylor was in school for her first year. Sarah and I had started running together. All that equals exhausted! So here's what happened:

Today however started good, but turned embarrassing. It was a whirlwind to get ready to go. JT was at work, and Sarah and I were running errands together. She was a little revved up. I think it was a family issue (don't we all have that?) This time it was her sister, and who she (I mean we, I put things in the box also to give to her for the baby) was sending a box off to in Vegas. And I had a package to send to CJ in Iraq. Two babies in the back seat, two boxes ready to go to the post office, and two busy ladies. I had gone to the Hospital for an appointment (I think. The memory is a little fuzzy. I just remember, "Lady at the Hospital didn't say anything to me"). No funny looks, no words of advise...So now you are wondering what the problem was? My light tan shorts were INSIDE OUT! Tag sticking out the top of my crack, and no one said a word. Must be because no one looks at my butt anymore, you say? Well my retort is, "it's too big to miss ;)" My dear friend noticed. Thank you Sarah for saving me from future humiliation. That's what friends are for right? Well technically she was laughing. So my totally accidental day was hilarious to her. Happy to put a smile on your face Sarah. This was a prime example of what can happen to you! If you are exhausted you will probably do one of the following top 10:

1. Put your shorts on inside out.
2. Place your keys in your freezer.
3. Put the frozen food in the pantry.
4. Forget that you hadn't taken a shower yet and it was 3 pm.
5. Or worse, forgot to brush your teeth! You gave that nice checkout lady @ the store a big cheesy smile when you left didn't you?
6. Keep saying sentences that do not make sense. "Go to your bedroom and get on the pot, then go to the bathroom and make your bed and get your backpack."
7. Didn't hear your child wakeup. Caught ear to her ripping open a birthday present for friend while she was sitting on the pot. What girl doesn't love Mulan?
8. Falling asleep by 7:30 when the kids go to bed.
9. Dream of vacation with a hunky celebrity.
10. When you kids start to ask you, "what's that on your face?"

So moral of this story is to take your vitamins, put time aside everyday just for you, find a great babysitter, get a library card to check out books (feed your mind, and the rest will follow!) and get 8 hours of sleep a night. With that in mind, goodnight y'all!

Your character and ethics as a human being

–plural noun

1.(used with a singular or plural verb) a system of moral principles: the ethics of a culture.
2.the rules of conduct recognized in respect to a particular class of human actions or a particular group, culture, etc.: medical ethics; Christian ethics.
3.moral principles, as of an individual: His ethics forbade betrayal of a confidence.
4.(usually used with a singular verb) that branch of philosophy dealing with values relating to human conduct, with respect to the rightness and wrongness of certain actions and to the goodness and badness of the motives and ends of such actions.

char•ac•ter –noun
1. the aggregate of features and traits that form the individual nature of some person or thing.
2. one such feature or trait; characteristic.
3. moral or ethical quality: a man of fine, honorable character.
4. qualities of honesty, courage, or the like; integrity: It takes character to face up to a bully.
5. reputation: a stain on one's character.
6. good repute.
7. an account of the qualities or peculiarities of a person or thing.

Not everyone likes their "character" qualities. Over time some shrivel away, while others (sometimes the bad ones) take over at every chance given. I, myself, had a low threshold for stress tolerance. Sometimes it does get a little out of control still. Only when i feel overwhelmed mentally. It's my quick get out answer. Just say something quick so the situation is over. With having this problem also adds another. Taking things personal...all the time. I'm better at that, too. When I am having a stress tolerance issue I find saying little as possible in a situation best. But since I used to say so much during those moments, people who know me best misunderstand why I am quiet. It's truly not because I am "sulking". I am counting in my head, or saying "this isn't that big of a deal, calm down.." Unfortunately I have found that I am easily provoked still. It's a trait that has stayed with me. The upside to that is, if I'm on your side I will take care of you. I've got your back always.

Example: If you can't tell the Doctor on call to stop being rude and to stop treating like you are stupid, I sure as heck will. I am all about being treated fairly and equality for all.

What's the phrase? ASSUME. It makes an ass out of u and me. Don't assume someone is thinking or meaning something different then what is coming past their lips. Otherwise you will always have confrontation in your life. A little is OK. You need a strong back bone for those once in a lifetime moments where you need to stand up for someone or something. But over analyzing everything will surely make you nuts. And yes, everyone will notice too. You will be coined "she's crazy." Who wants that? Not I said the fly.

Back to having a low threshold for stress tolerance. Here's a simple, "skip the heightened emotions and in excusable behaviour" answer: just ask me what is really bothering me. Chances are it isn't you (or it could be lol). That is a universal move. It works with EVERYONE. A hand on the shoulder, soft voice, maybe if you were bickering too an apology (I'm big on that, apologizing ALWAYS is the key to successful relationships), and a quiet setting will surely calm this person down. You'll get your answers and more. Again taking that mountain down and turning it into a plateau full of grassy fields, aromatic flowers, and a slightly breezy 72 degrees.

Boundaries

Boundaries.

They are invincible to the naked eye. Well unless there is a 10 foot wall or fence, that would just be obvious? The one i'm speaking of are personal boundaries.Invincible. Wouldn't it just be easier for everyone in the world to have a fence around themselves or their family? You wouldn't have to fend off as much as you do. "How dare you go behind my wife's back and deliberately disobey her wishes?! Off with your head!" How easy would that be? I wish you could say that, but then you would have no friends. Nope, instead you tip toe. Whisper there. Whisper here. Subtly hinting of your displeasure in their behaviour, and hoping that they understand you and follow suite. We make these boundaries for ourselves. There are all types. Personal, Marriage, Work, and Friendly to name a few. All invincible, but tightly bound. You push because you have no knowledge of them. But once you run smack into one, it hurts. There are five stages in my opinion.

Stage One: First you get angry. I mean "who do they think they are?!They don't know what's best, they are crazy for thinking that way! I'm right...they're wrong." Isn't that how it goes? Have I missed anything? The ones with the pitch fork held up guarding their fence think, "Hey honey? Did i nail em' good? I got your back babe ;)"

Stage two: Second, you feel the need for backup. The blind one that ran into the fence (you) is thinking, "Hellooo?! Can I get an amen? Who's with me? All right I've got 2 on my "side" and they've got one. OBVIOUSLY I am right, they are wrong. I just couldn't let this go, it would be an injustice!" The ones standing behind their beautifully sculpted boundary says, "Girl...you won't believe what she said after I told her- nuh huh that ain't happenin! Her face turned beet red and her head started spinnin! No kiddin! Did you know I always thought that thing was on a little too loose? Who does she think she is?"

Stage three: You attack. I hear the silent one is the best. They don't know you are comin. You mobilize your plan in secret..."Ssshhh...I'm going to pretend that everything is hunky dory and it's all in their heads. I'm not mad...I'm silent mad." Come on! You may be sneaking around, but honey- you are the one wearing pink elephant costume in the dark and they have night vision goggles on. They all ready had a strategy in place while you were hiding and sulking under a rock. Just waiting. Watching your every move. Waiting for the right moment to execute you with an A-K 47 to let you know they were serious- don't even try me. Headline news: "There once was a rare pink elephant. Now she is dead. So onto the next headline: The world animal extinction list has added 1 more species to the list. If they could only learn to keep themselves out of danger by not crossing the boundary line. More on that at 10."

Stage four: You realize now that you were out of line..literally because once you were before the line and now you have crossed the line. It's a big line. Kind of invincible, but it's there. See if you try on others shoes, you would have realized that what you said or did was leaping the line. But now you are at stage four. When you crossed the line you should skip stages 1-3 and go to four. Four is where you play hot potato (you are the potato and your feet are HOT) and hop back quickly to before the line. Aaahhh, safe. Give yourself a pat on the back, you did the right thing (for once)!

Stage five: Apologize. It's not about what you said or did. It's about respecting one another enough to admit that you crossed their boundary and you are truly sorry and meant no harm. There is a story to everyone, a story for every reason given, a story for every reaction. Just ask for the story and you will understand thoroughly. It's the game of life I guess. Learning from every mistake. Lesson of the day: Say you are sorry, it squashes the mountains into plateaus between you and that person.