Boundaries

Boundaries.

They are invincible to the naked eye. Well unless there is a 10 foot wall or fence, that would just be obvious? The one i'm speaking of are personal boundaries.Invincible. Wouldn't it just be easier for everyone in the world to have a fence around themselves or their family? You wouldn't have to fend off as much as you do. "How dare you go behind my wife's back and deliberately disobey her wishes?! Off with your head!" How easy would that be? I wish you could say that, but then you would have no friends. Nope, instead you tip toe. Whisper there. Whisper here. Subtly hinting of your displeasure in their behaviour, and hoping that they understand you and follow suite. We make these boundaries for ourselves. There are all types. Personal, Marriage, Work, and Friendly to name a few. All invincible, but tightly bound. You push because you have no knowledge of them. But once you run smack into one, it hurts. There are five stages in my opinion.

Stage One: First you get angry. I mean "who do they think they are?!They don't know what's best, they are crazy for thinking that way! I'm right...they're wrong." Isn't that how it goes? Have I missed anything? The ones with the pitch fork held up guarding their fence think, "Hey honey? Did i nail em' good? I got your back babe ;)"

Stage two: Second, you feel the need for backup. The blind one that ran into the fence (you) is thinking, "Hellooo?! Can I get an amen? Who's with me? All right I've got 2 on my "side" and they've got one. OBVIOUSLY I am right, they are wrong. I just couldn't let this go, it would be an injustice!" The ones standing behind their beautifully sculpted boundary says, "Girl...you won't believe what she said after I told her- nuh huh that ain't happenin! Her face turned beet red and her head started spinnin! No kiddin! Did you know I always thought that thing was on a little too loose? Who does she think she is?"

Stage three: You attack. I hear the silent one is the best. They don't know you are comin. You mobilize your plan in secret..."Ssshhh...I'm going to pretend that everything is hunky dory and it's all in their heads. I'm not mad...I'm silent mad." Come on! You may be sneaking around, but honey- you are the one wearing pink elephant costume in the dark and they have night vision goggles on. They all ready had a strategy in place while you were hiding and sulking under a rock. Just waiting. Watching your every move. Waiting for the right moment to execute you with an A-K 47 to let you know they were serious- don't even try me. Headline news: "There once was a rare pink elephant. Now she is dead. So onto the next headline: The world animal extinction list has added 1 more species to the list. If they could only learn to keep themselves out of danger by not crossing the boundary line. More on that at 10."

Stage four: You realize now that you were out of line..literally because once you were before the line and now you have crossed the line. It's a big line. Kind of invincible, but it's there. See if you try on others shoes, you would have realized that what you said or did was leaping the line. But now you are at stage four. When you crossed the line you should skip stages 1-3 and go to four. Four is where you play hot potato (you are the potato and your feet are HOT) and hop back quickly to before the line. Aaahhh, safe. Give yourself a pat on the back, you did the right thing (for once)!

Stage five: Apologize. It's not about what you said or did. It's about respecting one another enough to admit that you crossed their boundary and you are truly sorry and meant no harm. There is a story to everyone, a story for every reason given, a story for every reaction. Just ask for the story and you will understand thoroughly. It's the game of life I guess. Learning from every mistake. Lesson of the day: Say you are sorry, it squashes the mountains into plateaus between you and that person.