Accusations, Assumptions, Assinine qualities.

A Poem I found that truely represents my week. Geesh, I thought I was out of High School. Apparentley, mentally I am older then this person and know right from wrong, though they are old enough to be my mother. I'm glad my mother taught me to always treat people with respect, and never to judge. Something that I have and will instill in my girls. Bullys come in all sizes, young and small. I for one never accepted that behavior. I have always been for equality and fairness, and will stand up to anyone promoting otherwise. There is never a reason for bullying, of the verbal or physical kind. If you are going to fight with someone, do it right. Meaning: to come to an agreement, to argue your sides, to hear the other person correctly. Fighting with someone to purposely hurt, enrage, knock down, in the fit of jealousy and envy will surely leave you alone in the dark.

Jealousy winds are blowing higher,
Spreading a contemptible fire
Where sinners cast the first stone,

Leaving them empty and alone.

Their imaginations running wild,
Rumoring like a scarred child.
Self imposed morality,
Loses sight of truth and reality.

Spreading falsehoods, altering truth into lies,
Blackhearts not relenting until the innocent cry.
Bringing forth the non-existing proof,
Accusers left in the shadow of untruth.

Producing mischief from the heart of their life.
Gaining pleasure from anothers strife.
Hoping to redeem the improprieties of their past,
Only to find an ill conceived victory will never last.

Santa, God, Airforce, and changes.

Sooo here's the low down that some of you may not have known. I'm due Dec 14th, and my husband CJ was notified a month ago or so that he was to deploy for the 4th time in 8 years in oct-ish for 6 months. He goes when he's told, but he really wanted to be home more with our family. He just spent all last year in Korea (to the AF that is not a deployment). My reaction? I laughed. Not a I'm mad, about to hurt someone laugh. Just laughing. I laughed when I found out I was pregnant. Found it completely hilarious that we just moved here, live in a 3 br house on base, and AGAIN I'm due at the end of the year (Taylor and Lauren were born 5 yrs and 3 days apart). I'm not afraid of childbirth, that never crossed my mind. I can do that without him (well I mean, I'm doing all the "work" right?) but I would be naming him/her without him, and having to rely on A LOT of people. Two kids plus baby, two dogs, and a house to take care of- 2 weeks before Christmas...can Santa do more then just deliver presents??
Fast forward to last week.
He passed his PT test, made Tech (avg sew on is at 12 yrs in service, he'll be at 8.5 yrs when that goes down:) I never had a doubt he wouldn't make it, he kicks my A$$ in trivial pursuit everytime. The mans knowledge has no bounds. That and he's just really good at his job.
Pass go and move to June 27th.
So. My future changed this day. The chief of his squadron heard "good things" about him lately. A job opened last week in staff, no one applied for it. UDM, unit deployment manager. They decide who is on what deployment, when they go, and guides them through how to get ready for it. It's a tech only kind of job. He was "voluntold" he was taking over this position. Which means for us??? He cannot deploy for the time in which he is in that position. Meaning around 2-3 years from now. He'll work mon-fri business hours.

So. Me and my girls will have the man of the house, IN the house for a good while! I'd like to give a special shout out to the Big G O D. My prayer wasn't specific to you, I could never ask you to take him off the team and put another in his place. I asked for safety for my husband, guidance for our future, and patience of the angels to get through the deployment.

I'd like to edit the last part. I'd like to say thank you. Thank you for all that you do. The little, the big, the unnoticeable, and the miracles you perform all day, everyday, all year, every year for eternity.

The goodstuff

I look back, and I loved my childhood. Yeah, there was a divorce. Yeah, there was some moving. Yeah, I went to more schools and lived in more houses then my military brat husband. Through all of that, I was still able enjoy what life offered. I had the life of the country, and the life of the city at the same time. I had Mom's and Dad's side of the family all in one country town. Holidays were the best. Because we always spent it with Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, and a ton of cousins on both sides of the family, all in one day. Morning to midnight.Life is moving on, new babies, new houses, new food. But then again it's not, the love is still the same. Even though I don't live there anymore, going home is like coming home in my heart. And that is comfort to my soul.

Rolling down Grandma's hill
Sucking on honeysuckle
Catching fireflies
Hide and seek
Snow forts
Riverboats
Riding like the wind on my bike
Drive-in movies
Caramel corn
Grandma's noodles
Shotgun on a red moped
Running trails
Barbie car races down the driveway
Fishin at the pond
Cocker spaniels
Stuffed mushrooms
Riding in the trans AM
A trip to Hatterus Island
Yatzee at grandma's
Chicago Bulls
Ed Debevic's
Old man with a sailor's mouth...
The windy city
A dog that loved sheet music for a snack
Pepper my feathered dance partner
Nick at Night
"The Beast" @ Kings Island
Butterfingers

Madonna

Frostee Freeze

Riding the back roads at night with the windows down

WEBN labor day fireworks

Graeters Icecream

Skyline food

Daffodils along the walkway

Kickball

Dodgeball

Baseball with the boys

Julie's corn

Judy's cakes

Air hockey

Sega Genesis

The boogie man at the back fence...

Banging on the old piano

Swimming at Coney Island

Jem

Smurfs

Hey Dude

Dinner at Lake Manor

The Liberty Bell

The Smokey Mtns

Dad's hot fudge cake sundae's

Pizza burgers

Family fun center

A country Fair

Butterscotch candies in Grandpa's pocket

Julf's Park

Raquet ball

Michael Jackson, before he seemed Bad

The "Gingerbread House" at Christmas

4th of July at Hyde Park

Croquet in Great Uncle Sam's backyard

Where am I?

I'm stuck in a rut.
CJ's stuff finally got here from Korea, which included the new TV he bought there for our bedroom. When he's working at night, I tend to watch a little Netflix before bed. Which means I don't turn it off until some time between 10:30 and midnight. Everyone knows that if you watch TV or read before bed, it sometimes causing sleep to evade you, or an un-rest full night. I. just. can't. help. it.

Another interruption.
Past couple of nights have been short and interrupted. Laurens thing is to wake 3times a night. I think she's sleep walking. Not quite awake, but awake enough to be crying. Sometimes it's due to bathroom break or to get a drink of water. Drink of water is not my favorite. Because it leads to another wake up. Bathroom break. So we've opted to put a gate up in the door, and when she wakes she is told to go to bed. I still get woken at the same time every night. Around midnight.

Please turn out the light.
Cincinnati, Oh elevation level is 482 ft. Destin, Fl elevation is 26 ft. Surprise, AZ elevation is 1,175ft. The elevation of my new residence in Edwards AFB, Ca is 2,302 ft. Here if any of the moon is visible, I would compare it to a full moon somewhere else. It's that bright. I'm thinking it has something to do with the following:
1. I live in the desert.
2. Away from town lights by a good 30 miles.
3. I'm at higher elevation compared to previous homes.
4. The pollution here is low.

So with my blinds shut, velvet curtains from target shut, the window lights up the room as if there was a little night light in the wall. I don't usually follow the moon phases. I just know since moving here, I haven't needed to keep the bathroom door open for a bit of light.

Falling asleep.
People generally require several minutes to calm down and relax enough to fall asleep, and the deepest stages of sleep typically occur 20 or more minutes after sleep onset. However, sleep onset and associated loss of consciousness can occur in an instant. This is particularly obvious in very tired people who can fall asleep at inconvenient and sometimes dangerous times, such as when driving a car. Similarly, waking up from sleep can occur very quickly, for example in response to an alarm clock, although it typically takes people much longer to become fully alert after awakening.
(Taken from http://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/healthy/science/how/neurophysiology)

Getting ready for bed:
1. Close blinds, and pull curtains shut.
2. Turn fan on setting #3.
3. Close bathroom door.
4. Close bedroom door.
5. Turn off TV and PS3.
6. Turn on monitor.
7. Get into bed, pull on sheet and down comforter.
8. zzzz...zzzz...

Here's what I failed to notice after completing steps 1-7. The moon wasn't visible. It was in crescent phase where it's not lit up. With the doors all shut, no moon, black bedroom furniture, and a tired Courtney..The room was pitch black.









It was the middle of the night.. I go walking in my sleep..From the mountains of Faith..To the river so deep..I must be looking for something.- thanks Billie Joel for explaining my attempt to wake up to reality this faithful night.

So add all that together, and this is why the next part happened.

Let's set the scene.
I'm dead to the world asleep, it's
been maybe 40 minutes since I drifted off. Do YOU know how hard it is to wake someone during that sleep phase?








"Courtney!" Eyes drift open...then shut...open.. then shut..and zzzz.

Although Lauren wasn't yelling my name, she was crying her eyes out at the gate at her door. I flung the sheet/comforter off, barely opening my eyes- noting that it was extremely dark. "Let's search for the light" I thought. Eyes closed. Next I open them again. My body is on it's right side 4 inches from the ground. Yes people. My conscious mind thought it was still in the bed, and I was .2 seconds from hitting the ground, going at full throttle speed. I have no recollection of movement between flipping off layers and landing on the ground. I closed my eyes and fully fell back asleep during my acrobatics off the bed! This was a rare moment in my life. I don't fall out of beds...If anything wakes me, I'm fully awake after one blink. Works great for when you have a baby at home, or you think someone is trying to break in, or then dog needs to go out. However, tonight I failed myself. Can you put yourself in my pj's and think how weird it was to not remember or feel "Oh crap, I'm about to fall out of bed"? Where was vertigo, when I needed him??**

I find this all completely funny. I crack up laughing at someone getting hurt (of course when it's not that serious that is). SO I take care of Lauren, I open the bathroom door, and crawl back into the MIDDLE of the bed all safe and sound.
**Disclaimer**
No person, or persons, were physically injured during this reenactment.

Move along people, there's nothing more to see.

Some may relate, others may not, some may say this is personal. And it's all of that.

A glimpse of my thoughts from the past.

You go a long time not thinking of what it would feel like being touched by the man that loves you. You're busy. The day to day needs just can't seem to be met, so it's added to the list for the next day. You look back to yesterday and think, "what did I do?" I can't even remember. Nothing stands out. If it were important to the overall picture, you would have remembered. It's like you are running. Running through the days. Funny how the last two weeks of school seem to take forever. But when he's gone, a month and a half are a blink of an eye. All the days run together. If you've done this before, then the routine and boredom sets in quick. By the middle of this separation someone says to you, "Oh! But you are halfway there, champ!" Thanks for reminding me that how long it's taken me to get HERE, I now have that much time left til I kiss the man I love, until death do us part. That month before and after the halfway point, to me, is the hardest. I literally scream in my head as if that will teleport me months into the future. Because you have been "running" through the days, your feelings are on the back burner. That is until pure selfish and blindingly stupid people say or do things that light the burner into full flames of rage. You are sensitive, even if it doesn't show. During complete stressful times with everyday stuff, all you want is for someone to take notice and take over. Let someone else "put the foot down." That would mean more then cookin a meal or grabbing coffee. Although those are great too. After all, you have been the one doing EVERYTHING lately...well, seems like eternity really. No where in your mind would you trade it for anything. There is no replacement for what that man means to you. Therefore, his "job" is him. And he is yours, forever and eternity.

My smile is bigger today, then yesterday. The dream of you home is more of a reality today, then yesterday. I love you more today, then yesterday.
~Courtney Coles

Lights, camera, let me see the action!

"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."

New York City. Lights, camera, and all the action. Busy people, shiny buildings, shopping, and food. I feel like I've seen it my whole life. But yet I've never stepped foot on it's soil. Movies and TV have done so much of the work, but I feel like I really want to go. To see it's magnitude and beauty in person would be amazing. You can't just go for a few days. That doesn't cover it. If I went, I would go for a week atleast. And a wad of cash (safetly tucked away in my bank account). So much to see, touch, and eat there in good ol' NYC. It would be hard to not look like a tourist. I think the camera in hand constantly taking pictures would give me away. I would definitely buy the corny tourist shirt just to have.

The food of NYC is a must eat. The iconic brooklyn style pizza. yummm.

A nice southwestern dinner at Mesa Grill, by Bobby Flay.

Maybe some desert afterwards. Dylan's Candy Shop. I have a sweet tooth, need to calm the craving.

I would love to see a Broadway Show.

What an iconic picture.

So much life has happened there. To walk where the famous, present and past, have walked. It would be something to remember for the rest of my life. There's plenty I don't know about NYC. I think I would take a trip to the History Museum. Someday I'll get to go...

Moments that make you laugh..

I love to laugh. I laugh at a lot of things. I have this terrible problem of laughing at someone when they get hurt. Well not always, I exclude extreme accidents from that list. I have a list of favorites that will always make me bust into a million giggles and gasping for breath! Some may just be a "you had to be there" kind of funny, but others will make you laugh too.

High school was funny. I had a couple of really goofy, uncoordinated friends. Just crazy stuff always happened to them! One of my good girlfriends she was coordinated,but it was a laugh factory together. These were the funniest. I had stayed the night one night in the summer at her mom and dads house. It was almost 11 pm and we were headed in the house. There were absolutely NO LIGHTS on outside. The house was kind of out from town, so they had a nice big front yard. We had to walk through that in the dark. Now back in the late 90's there were these shoes for girls called "moon shoes" or something like that. They were made of I don't know hard foam? The sole was about 3-4 inches thick from toe to heel with two wide straps across the top of the foot. My friend was wearing them on our lucky night tonight. We were all ready laughing about something. I can't even remember what. She was through the gate first, we're laughing and talking, and about four feet into the yard she went from standing to laying flat on the ground face down in 2 seconds flat! Her moon shoe hit a crater hee hee... Every joint from her feet to her head went down in order hitting the ground..For me, standing behind her, it was like watching a movie on the big screen. With front row seats. We were laughing so hard we were snorting like piggies, gasping for air. Her body was convulsing on the ground from silent laughing and snorting, and I was blind from the tears falling down my face! I can't believe we even made it to the door. We couldn't even repeat the story for days, because we'd be on the ground laughing. All we could say was "you just had to be there!"

This other time together was pretty funny too. We went to visit another friend. I drove my moms ford taurus. When we pulled up to the friend's apartment the window was open with her head sticking out. We rolled the windows down when we parked, and were yelling up to her. Well after a few minutes we said we were coming up. At this time, my friend had really long hair, like halfway down her back long by the way. I then proceeded to roll up the windows, without looking at my friend, and rolled her hair up in the window! We were (again) laughing and snorting so hard that neither one of us could roll down the window! We were paralyzed by laughter...I'd like to point out that her hair was not harmed in the process ;)

In dance class, there was always something funny happening. I mean, you are learning to do all sorts of turns, leaps, steps and sometimes gravity just isn't on your side. We've all fallen on our you know what's. But this one takes the cake. We'd stretch then do our combinations. Ms. Dana had us doing double turns, pique's, and all sorts of leaps across the floor every single day. This day we were doing a lot of making fun of, and talking during floor work. My friend was busy chatting and showing off during her leaps across the floor that she didn't realize how close she was to the other side. She leaped into the wall. How you ask? One foot slammed in between the double bars on the wall and she fell to her derriere!!! Even Ms. Dana was laughing (which was hard to do) while trying to ask her if she was OK...Good times.