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Friday, August 13, 2010

Some may relate, others may not, some may say this is personal. And it's all of that.

A glimpse of my thoughts from the past.

You go a long time not thinking of what it would feel like being touched by the man that loves you. You're busy. The day to day needs just can't seem to be met, so it's added to the list for the next day. You look back to yesterday and think, "what did I do?" I can't even remember. Nothing stands out. If it were important to the overall picture, you would have remembered. It's like you are running. Running through the days. Funny how the last two weeks of school seem to take forever. But when he's gone, a month and a half are a blink of an eye. All the days run together. If you've done this before, then the routine and boredom sets in quick. By the middle of this separation someone says to you, "Oh! But you are halfway there, champ!" Thanks for reminding me that how long it's taken me to get HERE, I now have that much time left til I kiss the man I love, until death do us part. That month before and after the halfway point, to me, is the hardest. I literally scream in my head as if that will teleport me months into the future. Because you have been "running" through the days, your feelings are on the back burner. That is until pure selfish and blindingly stupid people say or do things that light the burner into full flames of rage. You are sensitive, even if it doesn't show. During complete stressful times with everyday stuff, all you want is for someone to take notice and take over. Let someone else "put the foot down." That would mean more then cookin a meal or grabbing coffee. Although those are great too. After all, you have been the one doing EVERYTHING lately...well, seems like eternity really. No where in your mind would you trade it for anything. There is no replacement for what that man means to you. Therefore, his "job" is him. And he is yours, forever and eternity.
My smile is bigger today, then yesterday. The dream of you home is more of a reality today, then yesterday. I love you more today, then yesterday.
~Courtney Coles