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Friday, August 5, 2011

Accusations, Assumptions, Assinine qualities.

A Poem I found that truely represents my week. Geesh, I thought I was out of High School. Apparentley, mentally I am older then this person and know right from wrong, though they are old enough to be my mother. I'm glad my mother taught me to always treat people with respect, and never to judge. Something that I have and will instill in my girls. Bullys come in all sizes, young and small. I for one never accepted that behavior. I have always been for equality and fairness, and will stand up to anyone promoting otherwise. There is never a reason for bullying, of the verbal or physical kind. If you are going to fight with someone, do it right. Meaning: to come to an agreement, to argue your sides, to hear the other person correctly. Fighting with someone to purposely hurt, enrage, knock down, in the fit of jealousy and envy will surely leave you alone in the dark.

Jealousy winds are blowing higher,
Spreading a contemptible fire
Where sinners cast the first stone,

Leaving them empty and alone.

Their imaginations running wild,
Rumoring like a scarred child.
Self imposed morality,
Loses sight of truth and reality.

Spreading falsehoods, altering truth into lies,
Blackhearts not relenting until the innocent cry.
Bringing forth the non-existing proof,
Accusers left in the shadow of untruth.

Producing mischief from the heart of their life.
Gaining pleasure from anothers strife.
Hoping to redeem the improprieties of their past,
Only to find an ill conceived victory will never last.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Santa, God, Airforce, and changes.

Sooo here's the low down that some of you may not have known. I'm due Dec 14th, and my husband CJ was notified a month ago or so that he was to deploy for the 4th time in 8 years in oct-ish for 6 months. He goes when he's told, but he really wanted to be home more with our family. He just spent all last year in Korea (to the AF that is not a deployment). My reaction? I laughed. Not a I'm mad, about to hurt someone laugh. Just laughing. I laughed when I found out I was pregnant. Found it completely hilarious that we just moved here, live in a 3 br house on base, and AGAIN I'm due at the end of the year (Taylor and Lauren were born 5 yrs and 3 days apart). I'm not afraid of childbirth, that never crossed my mind. I can do that without him (well I mean, I'm doing all the "work" right?) but I would be naming him/her without him, and having to rely on A LOT of people. Two kids plus baby, two dogs, and a house to take care of- 2 weeks before Christmas...can Santa do more then just deliver presents??
Fast forward to last week.
He passed his PT test, made Tech (avg sew on is at 12 yrs in service, he'll be at 8.5 yrs when that goes down:) I never had a doubt he wouldn't make it, he kicks my A$$ in trivial pursuit everytime. The mans knowledge has no bounds. That and he's just really good at his job.
Pass go and move to June 27th.
So. My future changed this day. The chief of his squadron heard "good things" about him lately. A job opened last week in staff, no one applied for it. UDM, unit deployment manager. They decide who is on what deployment, when they go, and guides them through how to get ready for it. It's a tech only kind of job. He was "voluntold" he was taking over this position. Which means for us??? He cannot deploy for the time in which he is in that position. Meaning around 2-3 years from now. He'll work mon-fri business hours.

So. Me and my girls will have the man of the house, IN the house for a good while! I'd like to give a special shout out to the Big G O D. My prayer wasn't specific to you, I could never ask you to take him off the team and put another in his place. I asked for safety for my husband, guidance for our future, and patience of the angels to get through the deployment.

I'd like to edit the last part. I'd like to say thank you. Thank you for all that you do. The little, the big, the unnoticeable, and the miracles you perform all day, everyday, all year, every year for eternity.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

The goodstuff

I look back, and I loved my childhood. Yeah, there was a divorce. Yeah, there was some moving. Yeah, I went to more schools and lived in more houses then my military brat husband. Through all of that, I was still able enjoy what life offered. I had the life of the country, and the life of the city at the same time. I had Mom's and Dad's side of the family all in one country town. Holidays were the best. Because we always spent it with Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, and a ton of cousins on both sides of the family, all in one day. Morning to midnight.Life is moving on, new babies, new houses, new food. But then again it's not, the love is still the same. Even though I don't live there anymore, going home is like coming home in my heart. And that is comfort to my soul.

Rolling down Grandma's hill
Sucking on honeysuckle
Catching fireflies
Hide and seek
Snow forts
Riding like the wind on my bike
Drive-in movies
Caramel corn
Grandma's noodles
Shotgun on a red moped
Running trails
Barbie car races down the driveway
Fishin at the pond
Cocker spaniels
Stuffed mushrooms
Riding in the trans AM
A trip to Hatterus Island
Yatzee at grandma's
Chicago Bulls
Ed Debevic's
Old man with a sailor's mouth...
The windy city
A dog that loved sheet music for a snack
Pepper my feathered dance partner
Nick at Night
"The Beast" @ Kings Island
Frostee Freeze
Riding the back roads at night with the windows down
WEBN labor day fireworks
Graeters Icecream
Skyline food
Daffodils along the walkway
Baseball with the boys
Julie's corn
Judy's cakes
Air hockey
Sega Genesis
The boogie man at the back fence...
Banging on the old piano
Swimming at Coney Island
Hey Dude
Dinner at Lake Manor
The Liberty Bell
The Smokey Mtns
Dad's hot fudge cake sundae's
Pizza burgers
Family fun center
A country Fair
Butterscotch candies in Grandpa's pocket
Julf's Park
Raquet ball
Michael Jackson, before he seemed Bad
The "Gingerbread House" at Christmas
4th of July at Hyde Park
Croquet in Great Uncle Sam's backyard

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Where am I?

I'm stuck in a rut.
CJ's stuff finally got here from Korea, which included the new TV he bought there for our bedroom. When he's working at night, I tend to watch a little Netflix before bed. Which means I don't turn it off until some time between 10:30 and midnight. Everyone knows that if you watch TV or read before bed, it sometimes causing sleep to evade you, or an un-rest full night. I. just. can't. help. it.

Another interruption.
Past couple of nights have been short and interrupted. Laurens thing is to wake 3times a night. I think she's sleep walking. Not quite awake, but awake enough to be crying. Sometimes it's due to bathroom break or to get a drink of water. Drink of water is not my favorite. Because it leads to another wake up. Bathroom break. So we've opted to put a gate up in the door, and when she wakes she is told to go to bed. I still get woken at the same time every night. Around midnight.

Please turn out the light.
Cincinnati, Oh elevation level is 482 ft. Destin, Fl elevation is 26 ft. Surprise, AZ elevation is 1,175ft. The elevation of my new residence in Edwards AFB, Ca is 2,302 ft. Here if any of the moon is visible, I would compare it to a full moon somewhere else. It's that bright. I'm thinking it has something to do with the following:
1. I live in the desert.
2. Away from town lights by a good 30 miles.
3. I'm at higher elevation compared to previous homes.
4. The pollution here is low.

So with my blinds shut, velvet curtains from target shut, the window lights up the room as if there was a little night light in the wall. I don't usually follow the moon phases. I just know since moving here, I haven't needed to keep the bathroom door open for a bit of light.

Falling asleep.
People generally require several minutes to calm down and relax enough to fall asleep, and the deepest stages of sleep typically occur 20 or more minutes after sleep onset. However, sleep onset and associated loss of consciousness can occur in an instant. This is particularly obvious in very tired people who can fall asleep at inconvenient and sometimes dangerous times, such as when driving a car. Similarly, waking up from sleep can occur very quickly, for example in response to an alarm clock, although it typically takes people much longer to become fully alert after awakening.
(Taken from http://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/healthy/science/how/neurophysiology)

Getting ready for bed:
1. Close blinds, and pull curtains shut.
2. Turn fan on setting #3.
3. Close bathroom door.
4. Close bedroom door.
5. Turn off TV and PS3.
6. Turn on monitor.
7. Get into bed, pull on sheet and down comforter.
8. zzzz...zzzz...

Here's what I failed to notice after completing steps 1-7. The moon wasn't visible. It was in crescent phase where it's not lit up. With the doors all shut, no moon, black bedroom furniture, and a tired Courtney..The room was pitch black.

It was the middle of the night.. I go walking in my sleep..From the mountains of Faith..To the river so deep..I must be looking for something.- thanks Billie Joel for explaining my attempt to wake up to reality this faithful night.

So add all that together, and this is why the next part happened.

Let's set the scene.
I'm dead to the world asleep, it's
been maybe 40 minutes since I drifted off. Do YOU know how hard it is to wake someone during that sleep phase?

"Courtney!" Eyes drift open...then shut...open.. then shut..and zzzz.

Although Lauren wasn't yelling my name, she was crying her eyes out at the gate at her door. I flung the sheet/comforter off, barely opening my eyes- noting that it was extremely dark. "Let's search for the light" I thought. Eyes closed. Next I open them again. My body is on it's right side 4 inches from the ground. Yes people. My conscious mind thought it was still in the bed, and I was .2 seconds from hitting the ground, going at full throttle speed. I have no recollection of movement between flipping off layers and landing on the ground. I closed my eyes and fully fell back asleep during my acrobatics off the bed! This was a rare moment in my life. I don't fall out of beds...If anything wakes me, I'm fully awake after one blink. Works great for when you have a baby at home, or you think someone is trying to break in, or then dog needs to go out. However, tonight I failed myself. Can you put yourself in my pj's and think how weird it was to not remember or feel "Oh crap, I'm about to fall out of bed"? Where was vertigo, when I needed him??**

I find this all completely funny. I crack up laughing at someone getting hurt (of course when it's not that serious that is). SO I take care of Lauren, I open the bathroom door, and crawl back into the MIDDLE of the bed all safe and sound.
No person, or persons, were physically injured during this reenactment.

Move along people, there's nothing more to see.